Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
They have beer where we have blood.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
