that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
