I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
