You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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