just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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