I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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