Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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