she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
