The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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