Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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