Pants 0. Shit 1.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
