All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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