hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
