Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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