Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
