But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
