I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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