woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
