So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize