Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
