I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you told grandpa to call you daddy
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
