I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
