I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
