there was a trapeze. enough said
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
