Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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