I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
