I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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