pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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