Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i came on her dog
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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