just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
