I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
