Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
