The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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