would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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