I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
