alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
