Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We are two peas in an std pod
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
