so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
