and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
