I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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