he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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