a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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