No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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