You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
