I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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