Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
