It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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