im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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