Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
