im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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