i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
