fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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