Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
