you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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