Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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