You're completely useless in the revolution.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
