Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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