The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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