i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
