i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
