Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
