I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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